So drunk its hurt
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
