8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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