it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Fuck appropriateness.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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