Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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