I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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