maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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