His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
