he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
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