Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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