You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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