I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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