He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
