Christians are straight up FREAKS
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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