The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
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I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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