when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize