you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
