You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
