so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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