brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
