But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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