We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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