Jerry, you need to find god
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
