Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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