She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
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i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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