He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
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I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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