idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
