There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
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At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
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No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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