Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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