I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
