dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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