Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
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I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
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Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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