she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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