I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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