You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
