How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
