I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We need to get me chipped asap
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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