New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
