she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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