Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
