your parents love me but you hate me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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