woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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