you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
