Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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