just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
