my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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