How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
