she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
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My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
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I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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