Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
