I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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