Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
