You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
