He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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