I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
