STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
