Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
