We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
