I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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