You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
