Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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