my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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