don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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