never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
